So, I’m a guy, right? So obviously when I lie on my bed to fall asleep at night, my thoughts are on guy things, right? Well, last night, I was lying on said bed, thinking said thoughts, about the manliest of all subjects: romance.
Romance is a subject that captivates a lot of people, regardless of gender. Just look at the way the internet “ships” people. We, as humans, are absolutely entranced by the idea of two people “falling in love” and living happily ever after, and we have the books, movies, and music to show it. So why this obsession with romance? And why, if we are such experts on the topic, do so many of these relationships fail?
I think the answer to that lies in knowledge. When two people don’t know each other very well, but they are interested to get to know each other better, they make a concerted effort to do so. This can take the form of actively participating in the conversation, putting more thought behind what they say, or engaging in various activities with each other.
This is what people call the “spark.” Just that enjoyment of each other’s company, having fun in conversation and learning new and interesting things about each other is what keeps these relationships alive and what leads them to more. It is also this “spark” that the majority of people witness, and in their minds they’re already pairing the two together.
So what happens when the two people actually become involved? Well, for some reason, suddenly the dynamic changes. They now “know” each other, or so to speak. And I’m not talking about when they start dating. I’m talking about after they’ve been in a relationship with each other for a few months, if not years. However, once the two know each other, once they are “together” suddenly the concerted effort disappears. Conversations become dull and lifeless, there’s no more real incentive to spend time together save when its spending time on something they both enjoy.
I think this is the big problem: people stop devoting effort to their relationships, and so romance goes away. At its core, romance is all about effort, and relationships need that effort for success.
That’s all, really. In fact, this post is actually late, because the thinking that this post is referring to was on Sunday night, but this is getting posted on Tuesday, because I’m a lame person and need one post to cover for both Monday and Tuesday’s posts. I’m too busy studying. =P And my girlfriend is also coming over on the 17th, so we’re busy getting ready for her visit. So, yes, excuses. You’ll have to accept them while I get to work writing a philosophy paper that is way too long.